Monday, September 28, 2009

On Standing Still

11 weeks of late night phone calls, midday skype lunches, and weekend plane rides. It's almost sad to say that we are falling into the routine of a long distance marriage. Leaving the airport this time, my tears dried up before I reached the 408 toll road. I go to sleep to her voice on my phone and text her at first waking. "Good morning, how di dyou sleep?" We share our bad dreams, our good dreams, our schedules for the day, missing the bus, and makeup choices for the day. We txt through process meetings, sweeping hair off of floors, the commute home, me by foot, her on the bus. It's easy with the certainty that we are doing this for our future and failure is not an option. Our skype date is starting . . .

Thursday, September 3, 2009

The Wifes New Do

A month after we first met, I cut all of my hair off for the umpteeth time. The wife hated it! Now we've switched places and she is exploring the wonders of her natural hair. Never thought I would see this day.

The wife with natural hair

Me now

Me with natural hair


If only I could keep up, keep this thing called life in check, then I would be better. The visit was short but amazing. Never should we go six weeks without seeing each other again. Distance does make the heart grow fonder but there is a point where fondness descends into a sort of madness in missing the other person. I have my feelings but God has her will. I am following the will and trying no to let my cyclical emotions get the best of me. At work and in marriage they seem to turn on a dime depending what and how someone says or does something to me. I seek serenity if I cant find harmony, it keeps things in perspective.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

Tonight is a night for Nina. Working 13 days on, one day off, four more days till my weekend, and my wife is coming to visit. Everyday is performance, an intricate dance in and around everyone to prove that I belong. Not seeing anyone that looks like me for weeks. The mask is cracking.
I've anticipated this visit for the past few weeks and it alarms me that I only feel trepadation. Fear of having to perform in the one place that gives me comfort. I am not the same woman I was six weeks ago. This experince has me flat on my face like a baby just beginning to scoot.
Sometimes though when we can't muster the emotional or mental, we just have to appreciate the physical and hope that it can carry us.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Oh Florida

Florida is a lover I can't let go. She woos me with her incessant summer, harvest moons, and monsoon season. First taking me at the tender age of 17, so pliable to her hospitality. It was here that I became a woman. In this place heartbreak, vengance, confusion, and dispair along with expectation, excitement, hope, and love came knocking on my door. She cradled me those nights I cried myself to sleep, fucked the pain away, and painted the first morning sun. I'm hoping my return is as profound as my introduction.

Monday, July 20, 2009

700 Mile Situation

It's been a minute but I got to bring it back. Six months to digest being a wife and now I'm a long distance wife living 1000 miles away. This blog was originally to be a living document of our wedding process, but there is so much more to marriage that only time can teach you. The title is a Res song that keeps playing over and over as I think about the near and immediate future.
I now live in Mount Dora, Florida about 30 miles from Orlando. One week into an entry level hair stylist position that I love and Skyping it up with the wife. Knowing we'll be apart longer than we were together is a strange idea as newlyweds. We imagined walking along Lake Michigan at sunrise, having candlelit dinners on our living room floor in front of the fake fireplace, having our first child on our first wedding anniversary.
All the while we were making plans, God was laughing at us. So now this blog is a journal of married life in a 1000 mile situation.

Monday, February 23, 2009

The Lessons in Michelle Obama's Hips

STOP IT!!!! I am deathly tired of everyone talking about this woman's hips in everything she wears. She knows they're there. She, and I, wake up every morning and look at them unadorned while deciding just how we feel about them that day. To all the flat butt women and skinny bone chasing men out there let her be.

Now I normally don't rant and rave about things like this but looking at her in this fabulous black hip hugging dress reminded me of trying on mermaid wedding dresses a couple of months ago. I just happen to be shaped like Mrs. Obama; small upper body, smallish waist, wide hips, and a high substantial backside. A figure that I thought would be banging in a mermaid dress. But alas, none of the dresses that could have fit my upper body made it past my 41 in. hips. It was a frustrating notion to realize that the designers and by extension the public thought I was supposed to be ashamed of and hide what my mama gave me.

Now I found the dream dress and it was fly as hell, but I wish the experience of trying on dresses wasn't so traumatic. Hips, thighs, booty and all those other womanly curves should be celebrated and displayed in anyway the owner desires without a chorus of haters. I hope Mrs. Obama keeps those fierce curves on display so that more women are comfortable accentuating them.

Photo credit: Mandel Ngan/AFP/Getty Images